18 Giu Interpersonal Conflict: What It Is and How to Resolve It
This is especially the case if the conflict seems overly emotional, since INTJs are not fans of these types of situations. They prefer to make decisions logically and won’t mind a situation that they see a logical solution for. They will often keep a completely calm exterior while they attempt to figure out the best way to solve the problem or crush the conflict. While conflicts are rather natural, healthy, and unavoidable, when they remain unresolved or escalate, they can become a significant cause of stress and problems in relationships. Fear of confrontation and rejection is another https://ecosoberhouse.com/ powerful driver of conflict avoidance.
Fear of negative evaluation
This is conflict avoidance, and it’s more common than you might think, especially in close relationships. Look beyond the temporary sense of safety and calm that conflict avoidance can bring and recognize what you stand to lose from it—such how to deal with someone who avoids conflict as broken relationships, a damaged reputation, and strained interactions at work or at home. Mindfulness practices like meditation teach you to stay grounded in your body without trying to change things or dissociate when things get challenging. It can also give you a chance to explore the root of what’s bothering you and become more trusting in yourself. Similarly, you can use self-help books or other reflective devices to enhance your mindfulness practices. A healthy relationship should be able to withstand honest, respectful communication about issues at hand.
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While you might not relate, everyone is strung up differently—and may even be better equipped to make decisions when it comes to interpersonal matters. When arguing a point, consider who it affects and who knows most about the repercussions there. Since you’re not always the first to empathize, notice those who passionately advocate for the human side of things—and listen to them before making a judgment call. INTJs can seem like know-it-alls, but that’s usually just because you only air your opinions when you’ve taken time to think through why you hold a given belief. You’re strongly defensive of your POV, but you’re open to being persuaded if someone provides a more logical perspective. You might get defensive with people you love, because you’re acting out of hurt instead of hearing their side.
- Look beyond the temporary sense of safety and calm that conflict avoidance can bring and recognize what you stand to lose from it—such as broken relationships, a damaged reputation, and strained interactions at work or at home.
- Cultural upbringing significantly influences how we view and handle conflict.
- This primal reaction to perceived threats is hardwired into our brains.
- Each time we successfully avoid a confrontation, we reinforce the belief that avoidance is the best strategy.
You don’t have to avoid conflict to keep the peace.
- But, for some people, conflict avoidance is more than just an occasional thing; it is a staple of how they move through life.
- Conflict avoidance can cause problems in relationships when it happens a lot, especially if you avoid talking about things that really matter to you or anyone else involved.
- Developing a better understanding of why you are hesitant to bring up an issue within your relationship may help you better express yourself to your partner, leading to more impactful conversations.
- They want to make their loves ones happy and will often see it as a failure if they cannot do so.
INFJs do quite well in civilized disagreements or debates, but you do not like to feel like you’re inciting conflict. You’re so careful not to incite conflict, in fact, that you might just brush a lot of your concerns under the rug that you shouldn’t. You’re prone to questioning whether or not you’ve misinterpreted something, because you want to believe the best of people. You typically only argue or disagree when someone’s story doesn’t add up or you feel you’ve been treated unjustly. If your concerns are heard out, you’re all for coming up with a good solution together, or trying to understand what happened. But you often back down if someone’s argument is more emphatic than yours.
Understanding Conflict Avoidance
Tessina suggests people who avoid confrontation may be very hard workers (as a result of being inherent people-pleasers). In general, hardworking folks have their minds in many different places, striving to achieve the most within a short period of time or even at once. When Tim discovers the details of Suzie’s spending, he is devastated. He confronts Substance abuse Suzie and she defends herself, “I did not want to fight. You were already dealing with a lot of work stress.” Essentially, Suzie omits discussing her self-serving activity to free herself of responsibility.